Posted by: Craig | 14 September, 2007

Brokeness…

For the last three weeks I have been praying for God to break me emotionally and spiritually so that I would turn to Him more and rely and trust and chase Him more.

Last Saturday the guest preacher at my church spoke on brokenness, brokenness caused by God for His glory.

Then this week God starts to break me through several experiences some still going on, emotionally and spiritually I have been chucked in the blender. Currently I have no clue what emotions I am actually feeling at first I felt emotionally paralyzed by these experiences but the best description I seem to have found on how I feel right now is in the scripture from the sermon, I am “perplexed but not driven to despair”(1 Cor 4:7b). I am not understanding why or the reasons that God is putting me through this but I am not driven to despair and loss of hope, I am trusting in Gods plan and sovereignty over creation and my life even if I don’t understand it.

I see two options when God comes along and breaks you, either you will start to turn away from God saying that the God you knew would not let this happen (being driven to despair), or you will be moved to rely on God more turn to him and trust in Him more. That first option can lead to a lot of anger at God and loosing your faith and trust in Him or numbing and hiding your self from God with worldly distractions, the second option leads to an increased trust in in Him and Faith and those times can bring you closer to God by turning to Him more and ultimately God is glorified so much more though your brokenness. So as I go through these times of brokenness I am trying to just turn and rely on God and not just turn to mind numbing activities as that is why I was praying to be broken so that I could trust and rely on God more and better Glorify Him in my life.

It is 1 am so I am going to bring this poorly articulated post to an end.

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