Posted by: Craig | 23 March, 2008

Struggles with Easter…

I find Easter to be a hard time of year, yes I know it is the time in which we celebrate the Creator stepping into creation and offering Himself up as a sacrifice to atone for sin and then rises from the dead defeating death. Yet that is the problem, it seems I mostly only perceive it as a fact I know, each year I grapple not with whether these events happened but instead with the fact I seem so emotionally indifferent to them.

If a friend or relative was to die or get seriously injured I would have an emotional response beyond just knowing it has happened, it is real to me as i have perceived it first hand, even if I just heard over the phone it would seem more real. Yet when it comes to the events of Easter my heart does not see them with quite the same level of realism i suppose, I certainly should have a response as much as the examples above to God forgiving my sin and giving me life and not death, I should be ecstatic and amazed by this.

Partly I can put it down to this fallen world that I seem numb to this but I still strive to ever know the Crucifixion and resurrection as if it is happening now. Also I would say it comes down to the way my love for Jesus doesn’t quite seem like it does for those I actually physically know somehow in the same way my love for Jesus seems less real because I don’t physically know him and so I don’t take into account his reaction or expectation of my actions like I would with my friends and also find it harder to see the Easter events as currently real.

I don’t know if that made sense but all I can do to fight this is pray that God will reveal himself to me even more so that I might grasp his actual realness even more in my heart, and I can read the bible and watch things like the passion to understand those events and what they really entailed so that I don’t talk about Jesus dying for our sins in such a flippant manner as if the death was just a little part of it all. I think this will be a battle I fight until I die i just hope I gain ground day by day so that I see it all as real as the world around me and can sincerely have no fear of death because my hope in eternal life is just as real.

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